Men Need You Ladies: A Message of Reflection by Jim Kirby

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December 24, 2014 by Robb Powell

When Rob invited me to write for him I don’t think he expected the words that fall from the thought bubbles of my mind on to paper. Though I have many an artist awaiting exposure, I am going to halt the presses and contribute an article to all the lasses who need to know their fellas need them.


Men are the weaker emotional species. We feel doubly what you do but we hide it well. From Dickenzian days up to now we’ve been taught to hold back tears, suppress our emotional thoughts and get on with the day to day whilst keeping structure of tomorrow.

This structure broke with the “Emo” scene but… let’s face it that scene bordered pantomime acts and was quickly forgotten.

But how do you know if your man is yours?

I can tell you this… He doesn’t ignore you when you’re around nor continue as normal. He flips out and freaks out and is gentle whilst terrified.

He is terrified because you make him go against the mould he was formed in. Many lasses don’t get this and crave the Jason Statham of men but what isn’t understood is that the man becomes the ideal. You want a bad boy? We will crucify our own mothers for your touch! The Mr Darcy? We will throw away our recklessness for etiquette and a stiff upper lip.

But a lass makes her (not “a”) man.

Did you know that break ups and relationships are the highest cause of male admission to psychiatric wards between the ages of 18-65? Whereas for women the heightened point of admission is within their 30’s.

Men will change their worlds for their beloved. So if you have an average (to you) guy who doesn’t change or is consistently stable… chances are you will be the one that is hurt. If you have one who is bold and flippant, then he doesn’t give a damn and there are always plenty more fish in the sea.

But, if you discover one who starts bold but weakens, one who your difficulties affect and who fights all they’re raised by up until you met them just to be a better (kind of) man for both you and he. That is the one who loves you the most. That is the one no one could ever love you more than. That is the one who, whilst your out exploring yourselves and ultimately sacrificing yourself for with other guys, who is dying as he knows the true form of you is altering for another’s needs.

The girl he allowed and praised to simply be themselves is gone.

Lasses can throw their heart in a cat like nature… venture out and beyond whilst they know there is a home (a decent guy) awaiting.

Decent men are more like (and sadly treated like) dogs, loyal, protective and open to wounding by their companions.

If you are loved and leave without fair chance chances are you make that once wonderful man a future addict, drunk, suicide or even an abuser to future partners.

Ladies… you are the biggest part of who we are and very much the best.

So as you wake Christmas morning to one who is seemingly only vulnerable to you, kiss them, say three words, know you are their muse and they love you for every struggle of your past as no other ever will. Know you are literally their “other half” and the better half of them. Know they need you as much as you do “how I met your mother.”

Love them, they are worth it before you settle into the cast of the rest of the faceless world… Because to him, the world is so much brighter and more colourful with you and your dreams within it.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

“Just” Jim Kirby



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